Right now, I should be outside, running 18km across London. But I’m not.
I have a half-marathon to run in two weeks (exactly) and I’m ever so slightly behind on my training programme. As in, the furthest I’ve run as part of my prep has been 16km. While that was comfortable and relatively easy, I had planned to do 18km this morning.
Yet I’m sitting here in my running gear, looking out the window at the lashing rain and gusts of wind bending the trees in our garden.
I am not going outside in that.
I can hear the ‘should’ in my mind and the guilt building up. But I can also clearly remember how in the past, I’ve made myself sick from running in weather like this. I’ve too much to do to end up sick again.
I’ve rescheduled the run for a couple of days from now and also have the chance to get in another long run when I’m up in Scotland visiting family next weekend.
‘Should’ is very noisy inside, but it’s also rather pointless. ‘Should’ indicates that things aren’t as we believe they need to be, leading to guilt. Which is supremely unhelpful. I’m channeling my inner Yoda here: ‘Run or do not run. There is no should’.
Instead, I have a trip to my office to drop off some new furniture, a trip to Ikea to return some mis-measured blinds (a long story) and a host of other useful life tasks to get done. I’m resigned to the fact that a run in this weather isn’t one of them.
No more ‘should’. At least for today, and at least not about the run.
Time to get out of my running gear, make another coffee and start to get ready for the day ahead.