I’m really not proud of myself this evening. I’ve done absolutely nothing except eat far too much and then regret my actions.
Let’s start at the beginning. Yesterday evening, @FrankDJS booked us brunch at the local ‘Big Easy‘, kicking off at 11:30am. My plan was therefore simple: get up early, go for a run, then reward myself with an all-you-can-eat brunch of various meats. It’s worked well in the past.
It worked out beautifully. Except I spent an extra hour in bed instead of a run and I consumed enough meat to feed a small family. The BigEasy’s ‘Big Pig Gig’, outlined below, gives unlimited food and prosecco for the extremely reasonable price of £29.50. My deeply unscientific estimate is that I consumed about three time’s that amount in meat alone. Not counting the few glasses of prosecco.
I’m not critiquing the staff at the Big Easy – the service was great, they were attentive and generous with the food and drink, and had no way of knowing that my stomach resembles a black hole when it comes to buffet or all-you-can-eat situations. Rather than a marketing gimmick, I see this phrase as a challenge and almost always rise to it.
We finished eating at just after 1:30pm. Two solid hours of pulled pork, BBQ beans, ribs, chicken, corn bread and Prosecco. I’ll admit there was some conversation thrown in too, but not much. We two became a meat processing team. And the team at Big Easy refilled our plates regularly and with glee. Our glasses too.
Despite finishing our meal-slash-pork-orgy so early in the day, I haven’t touched food since. No mid-afternoon snack, no coffee, no dinner. Only water. I was hit with big-time meat sweats and @FrankDJS had to have a lie down. I managed to stay awake and then spent an hour in the sauna to expedite the sweating. I think it actually worked, as I feel a lot more human now.
But still, there’s no chance of me eating anything this evening. I’d like to say I’ve learnt my lesson, but I think we all know I’ll be back at the Big Easy again soon. It’s too tempting an offer and too good a meal to pass up.
I’ll just need to clear my calendar for the rest of the day.