Eurovision 2016: Russia

Wow. This is the most overtly homoerotic Eurovision entry I’ve seen in quite some time. And I think that’s saying something. Russia’s entry – “Take it off” by the obviously talented Sergey Lazarev – makes Top Gun look like a subtle and under-stated treatise on heterosexual bonding.

There are Liberace tribute acts in Vegas wondering if Russia has gone a bit overboard this year. Obviously, this being a Russian entry, where “that kind of thing” is frowned upon (to put it mildly), this video features quite a few women too.

But, come one. The focus here is clearly male abs, ass and crotch. And then some more abs. Sergey’s abs, to be clear. But in all the flashing lights and movement, it’s hard to tell who the abs belong to at times. Thankfully, the camera regularly focuses back on Sergey, in case there was any doubt whose abs and face we should be looking at.

And the sheer volume of pink here is like Russia is playing some kind of twisted double-bluff game with us gays of Europe. “On the one hand, we’ll forbid your gay pride marches and attack you in the streets. On the other hand… look at this man wearing pink. Pink! Can you believe it?! Please vote for us.”

Yes, he’ll definitely get some votes on the night from admirers of buffness and oiled up dancers. And pink. Possibly. I wonder if the stage act will be toned down – I can’t imagine all that topless action getting the green light from the EBU guys at the top. But you never know, it’s Eurovision after all.

Anything else here?

Oh yes, the song. The song is truly terrible. A repetitive dirge, where he pleads with some (imaginary) woman to take off her clothes. Or he’ll do it for her. So very 2016, right?

It’s awful. Truly awful. You don’t go to the Eurovision for deep and meaningful lyrics (La, la, la, la… Boom Bang-a-Bang etc etc) but these are pretty awful. In a pretty creepy way.

So he’ll obviously get bucket-loads of votes, as I last correctly predicted a Eurovision winner in about 1867.

All the same, I think I’ll check out the video one more time. For research purposes.

Obviously.

  1. This song was never Russia’s entry. Take It Off was released four years ago, though the video was delayed for unknown reasons. I can only imagine you found this because when Sergey was announced as the artist people immediately searched for his most outrageous content possible (which is a fallacy in itself, but let’s not go into that). If you want something that’s more “typical” for Sergey, look up Electric Touch or In My Lonely Life.

    I don’t care if you don’t like Sergey’s style or his actual song for Eurovision, but please, PLEASE fact check before you post scathing reviews like this.

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    1. Well I stand corrected. Thanks for pointing this out. I actually found the video by searching for “Eurovision 2016 Russia”, nothing more.

      Interestingly, it seems I’m not the only one who made this mistake though…

      I still think this is a better song than the one that was chosen though

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      1. Well, what can I say – it got formulaic, and the formula works on me. I wish they could have used something more In My Lonely Life-ish, but I’m a fan of the sound.

        Now that I think about it, there’s at least one person who’s been tacking “Eurovision Russia” onto Sergey videos for a while now. Like when his song Breaking Away was uploaded, it said “Eurovision 2015 Russia” on it, and then when Russia sent a different song, the person who uploaded it changed it to say 2016 even though that would be against the rules. I guess people just really want to see Sergey in Eurovision.

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