Why so serious?

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This morning I was mildly entertained by a sight I’m seeing more and more frequently lately: a woman putting her make-up on while on the tube.

The Central Line was jammers this morning, with people almost sitting on top of each other. Despite this, she sat there, gamely attempting to make contact between her eyelashes and a dangerously spiky looking mascara brush.

I wasn’t alone in watching her progress…I was (of course) standing and people around me were craning their necks to see how she was getting along.

So far, so normal I hear you say.

Except this woman was applying mascara, in the middle of a rush-hour tube, withoutthe aid of a mirror. As such, much of it was missing her lashes completely and ending up in a series of smudges around her eyes. She was beginning to look as if someone had given her a black eye.

The fact that she had poked herself in the right eye at least twice (while I was watching) caused some tears to flow, which made a further mess of the smudges.

I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say she was beginning to look a lot like The Joker, as played by Heath Ledger.
Just as I was beginning to feel a hint of pity for her – she obviously had no idea what a mess her face was turning into – she saw me watching, caught my eye and gave me a look of pure, unadulterated hatred.

I’m sorry. Let’s rewind here.

You’re the one doing something best done outside of a moving vehicle, better still in the privacy of your own bathroom. And you don’t have a mirror to even do it safely. You’re doing it in the middle of a packed train and you expect people not to look?

I don’t think so. There’s not a lot of amusement on the tube.

I think I get to watch. I think I get to enjoy imagining you walking into work looking like a slightly hungover version of a cross-dressing Batman villain.

And then blog about it here.

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