London Life

Arctic London

No, not really. But we did experience a few inches of snow yesterday. Thus, the city resembled the End of Days, airports went into meltdown and trains sank into the very pit of hell itself. Or something like that.

I had plan to write several thousand (much needed) words of my doctoral dissertation. But, like most toddlers, I was distracted by the soft white stuff falling from the sky. I and a few other intrepid adults who should know better, went to the local park to play in the snow. Our mission: to create the best snowman Wapping has ever seen.

We began in a very coordinated way, planning our construction and identifying the most suitable spot in the park. We eventually decided on somewhere near the pavement, where motorists and pedestrians alike could look on and marvel at our creativity.

While initially working on a traditional snowman – we had come prepared with hat, scarf and carrot for his nose – we quickly moved on to something more avant garde and referrent to popular culture. Or, to put it another way, I added two large breasts, making it a snow-woman. The lumpy head reminded us all of the profile of Princess Leia in Star Wars, so we decided to finish the piece in the style of a Leia. Replete with hat and scarf (in that original white costume, she would be freezing!). We stood back and admired our creation, then wondered what we could do next. What could surpass this snow sculpture?

There was only one answer: a giant snow penis.

I would like to say that it was our homage to the ancient pagan rites that predate Christmas, echoing pagan references to the phallus as a source of power and virility. I would like to. But actually, we all thought that it would just be funny to make a giant cock out of snow.

You can look upon our creations here.

A sad postscript to the above. I have learned, through reliable sources, that our creations (both Leia and the snow-penis) were destroyed overnight. Our photos are all we have left to remember them by. They will live on in our hearts.

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