Ah the old days… when by some miracle, each day you would receive a selection of letters, bills and other assorted mail delivered right through your letterbox. Twice a day.
Then just once a day, but that was fine. Then… slightly later in the day. But still, you got your letters, bills, postcards and yes, even your junk mail. Remember the thrill of opening those special letters and parcels?
No? Me neither. As it’s been so bloody long since I’ve received any post. Thanks to the Communist Party of Great Britain CWU, post in London has been an unmitigated disaster for weeks now. Strikes and the accompanying general disruption have meant that the sporadic arrival of mail in my household is greeted like food parcels in a POW camp.
Strangely, the delivery of junkmail has continued through thick and thin. I can only attribute this to the Pizza Menu Ninjas, creatures who are able to gain access to my apartment building when postmen can’t (in fact, especially when postmen can’t) and slip their ever-so-tempting bill of fare through my letterbox. Silently. Again, something our local postmen can’t manage.
While I’m at it, here’s a list of other things our local postal-peeps can’t appear to do:
- Deliver anything before midday
- Deliver magazines without (apparently) kicking them around in the gutter first
- Ensure somebody signs for special delivery parcels, instead of leaving them in the lobby
- Not bend all envelopes clearly marked “Do not Bend”
Please CWU – stop being cocks and let your members get back to work.